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Nine Words Women Use

September 22, 2010 Leave a comment

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

(8) Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying GO TO H***

(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # (3.)

Categories: Family, Me Tags: , ,

Home Battles of the Teenage Kind

September 16, 2010 Leave a comment

scream and shout

Image by mdanys via Flickr

 

If you felt the earth tremble on its axis Tuesday night, don’t panic.  My 13-year old daughter was having the biggest tantrum of her existence.  I think perhaps her head might have done “the exorcist 360” when she was telling me what a bad mother I was and how I live to ruin her life.  The catalyst you ask?  I dared to take her laptop for ONE NIGHT because she continues to burp out loud like an obnoxious frat boy.  

We went through a similar, less extreme meltdown not too long ago but she worked me over so good I walked away feeling guilty and depressed with my parenting skills.  After much reflection, I decided I was soaking in too much of her teenage angst and negativity.  I was determined to hold firm on the next round and assume the Teflon Don persona.  It ain’t stickin!  The hard part: being sensitive and understanding to the world of teenage drama, while still being strong on rules and consequences.  When I managed to do this on Tuesday, I discovered the process in which the whole thing came about:  a trigger, a meltdown (emotional dump of every frustration under the sun), a testing of boundaries and rules, a release (the “come to Jesus” moment when the walls come crumbling down and the real tears flow) and then at last, a recognition (apology) and reconcile.  

I seriously felt like I earned some sort of medal for courage under fire, but the real test is sticking to it and following through on the next one; yes – it will happen again, I have no doubt.  If you are a proud parent of the teenage-kind, I hope my experience and said thoughts might provide a small bit of insight… and that oh yes, we parents can navigate the vast fickle and turbulent ocean of teenage hormones!    

Categories: Family Tags: , , ,

Sing A Song

September 14, 2010 Leave a comment

Fart

Image via Wikipedia

Recently during a usual family weekday night, we were having baked beans with dinner and I was struck by a song from my childhood that I had not thought of in a long time.  I sang it to my kids and now I gift it to you, WordPress people ~ enjoy!  May you sing it repeatedly in your head alllllllll dayyyyy looooooonnnnnggggg.

Beans, Beans
Are good for your heart
the more you eat
the more you fart.
The more you fart
the better you feel
so eat your beans
at every meal!

Categories: Family Tags: , , , ,

Aha

September 9, 2010 Leave a comment

I don’t believe I mentioned yet that we (my immediate family = husband, 2 teenagers, boy & girl & my mother) have recently bought a mucho bigger home to accommodate the holy grail called “teenage privacy” as well as giving my mother a room and space of her own.

There are many “aha” moments of not only buying your first home but also having your mother live with you…. the latter being a lengthy topic that my fingers aren’t ready to begin typing this morning; but we’ll get there at some point.  Anywho, one of the “aha” moments is the realization of just how effing happy I am to go home everyday to my own house.  It’s not just pride of ownership, its something deeper – like finding where we belong, where we should be.

On a different note, another “aha” moment happened this past weekend.  My handyman husband, who is usually a very methodical and studious fixer-upper had the biggest brain fart thus far in our marriage.  You see, my tub had a small leak in the hot water knob and he decided to tinker with it without turning the water off.  Lo and behold, we had a monstrous geyser of hot water shooting up to the ceiling in my master bath for about 3 full minutes until I suggested we cut the hot water off at the tank.  Thus far the only damage has been his pride, but wow – what a conversation piece!  He’s never gonna live it down!

Categories: Family Tags: , , ,

Teen Spirit

September 8, 2010 Leave a comment

So this morning I started pointing out road signs to my 16 year old son who is aspiring to get his drivers permit.  (Not an easy thing to mentally reconcile.)  I immediately flashed back to the numerous stupid things I did as a teenager… uh – yikes.  And the times I’ve wrecked my car (3 times…  at least one of the those was not my fault!)  And the time my highschool friends and I played chicken with a semi in a parking lot….  And the time I took a 50 mph ride in a P.O.S. (piece of sh*t) no-shocks 5 speed around a curving, brick lake road…..  Ahhhh those were the days.

Categories: Family Tags: , , ,